


Who's a Heretic Now

by SpineAndSpite



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Gem Fusion, Gen, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 01:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8350897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpineAndSpite/pseuds/SpineAndSpite
Summary: Time had been meaningless in the mirror. Centuries stacked upon centuries, voices bleeding together in a blank, endless void. 
This is not like that. 
(Malachite on the bottom of the sea)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before "Alone at Sea" aired, so I don't know how canon compliant this stream of consciousness is, but I like it. So. Whatever.

Time had been meaningless in the mirror. Centuries stacked upon centuries, voices bleeding together in a blank, endless void. 

This is not like that. 

This hurts. Bright pulses of agony that radiate across Lapis’s surface, sinking deep into the dark blue core of her. She is going to crack, to shatter to shards under the mind battering against hers. Sometimes it feels good, and that’s worse, because it means she’s slipping. Losing herself in the dark howl of thoughts and sensation--four eyes, four arms, two minds collapsing into a molten star, a voice that croons 

_“Lapis.”_

A Lazuli was never meant to fight a Jasper. But she holds the writhing body beneath the ocean’s pressure, fights to keep her mind free. It’s a thin line she walks--she has to keep them bound, but she can’t let them become fully one, or she’ll lose track of why they need to stay here. Why they can’t just go back to the surface and find something small and scared and fragile to crush. 

_“Yeah, but why not?”_

As long as she can remember who she is, Lapis, ocean gem, she can hold out. 

Jasper fights. Homeworld, does she fight. Throws the pressure of her mind against Lapis’s, the hideous strength of her arms. Sometimes Lapis swears they have broken apart again, writhing in the sand, Jasper’s eyes glowing greedy and amber above her, Jasper’s fingers pressing into the soft ball of her throat. Jasper yanks her hair and whispers over and over again, “Let go let go let go just say yes let go.” 

I won’t. I won’t. I won’t let you hurt them. 

_“Them? You mean the Crystal Gems? They’re nothing like me, like us. They’re filth.”_

You don’t know anything about them. 

_“I know they do this all the time. All of them together. Even the Pearl.”_

Her will rakes through Lapis’s mind, like fingers raking through her hair. It burns down through her veins, inside her, stripping her bare. 

Haven’t you been alone for long enough? I know you. I see you. 

Lapis doesn’t know who thinks that. She is afraid it might be both of them.


End file.
